- God expects forgiven people to forgive others
- Forgiveness is applying the blood of Jesus Christ as payment in full for every wound I ever have or will suffer
- God desires for His people to help others live free from the bondage of sin
- Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, and you must rule over it.” Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?” – Genesis 4:1–9
- and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also. – 2 Timothy 2:2
- To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. – Colossians 1:27–28
- We are responsible to each other
- Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:1–2
- How do I help someone forgive?
- Recognize the unforgiveness
- Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. – Ephesians 4:31–32
- Listen for verbal clues
- Ask validating questions
- Help them identify their wounds
- Be a safe place for them. You cannot help someone forgive if you are judgmental toward them.
- Help them see how God views unforgiveness
- Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” – Romans 12:17–20
- Coach them through forgiveness (7 Protocols)
- Thank God for forgiving you
- Repent of your sin of unforgiveness
- Ask God, “Who do I need to forgive and for what?”
- Forgive each offense from your heart:
- “Lord, I choose to forgive (this person) from my heart for (list wounds).”
- “Lord, is there anything else I need to forgive (this person) for?”
- “I declare (this person) is no longer in my debt. I transfer their debt to the cross, where Jesus paid it all.”
- Ask God to bless them and look for ways to bless them when possible.
- Commit to “not remember the offense.”
- Make pre-forgiveness a lifestyle
- Praise God with them for the freedom of forgiveness
- Am I my brother’s keeper?
For more information on forgiveness, please visit the Forgiving Forward website.
